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From the Sea of Waking Dreams I Follow without Pride

October 14th, 2006

Gay Politicians! @ 03:34 pm

Current Location: Starbucks, on my lunch
Current Mood: cold cold
Current Music: Madeleine Peyroux

Mother F! I was wondering if I am the only one peeved at the gay politicians and the onslaught they are subjecting themselves to? I mean seriously, why can they not do something positive with their power? BOILING!

I will write more later when I get home and have time to.

April 3rd, 2006

Free flow @ 12:51 am

With the weekend quickly parting, I sit here, in recall, summing the events of recent days gone by. It proved interesting, to say the least. Perhaps such events are needed to wake you up from some sort of slumber, but never the less can they be hurtful...

For some time I have sensed a change was needed, I just knew not in which facet of my life the change needed to occur. It was at times distressing, at other times, a non issue. It all culminated this weekend. Out of everything going on, the only thing running through my mind were the words my mother uttered to me on St. Patrick's Day. Words I initially blew off in anger, but as time passed they resurfaced on more than one occassion.

We all have a set of morals, ideals we hold up highly in our lives. In no way are they ever going to be the same as someone elses. Although you may share many of the same ideals with someone else, the weight on each specific one may not be the same. In this, the problem entails; the reason for this change. Cleaning up a lot of my wrongdoings of the past has, in no way, been easy. Never the less, I have worked vigorously at correcting what I could in order to progress. All this has not been in vain and for some time I was doubtful of whether or not it was worth a thing. As my academic life nears an end, I see now the result of what I have worked for and changed for. Finally, I like who I am. It is for this reason that I see no logical point in reverting to how I was, since that person, myself, was merely holding me back. I chose to uphold these ideals this weekend and will continue to do so because if I do not like myself, why should I expect anyone else to do the same.

Rumors will fly, as it is inevitable in the glitter palace that is the gay world, but I have no control over these people nor what they say. All you can really do is shrug and move on since it is ultimately not important. I have been able to keep focus on my studies and have gotten away from the bad influences surrounding me. Two years ago, I thought I was on top of the world when I was really just making extremely poor decisions. As the stress level from school and little social bouts take over moments of my life, the temptation to revert is always there, but there are people I can turn to to bring me back home.

I am being challenged right now to the extreme and my patience is wearing thin. Thank God for Shawn, he seems to always know what to do to snap me out of something, along with my mother (although she is a bit more abrupt - hehe). Truth is, I was ready to leave for Barcelona in a year, my bags were almost packed, but now I am not. Reciprocity, respect and an open communication about everything does wonders.

I am off to bed now, as I have my 8 a.m. start time tomorrow. Astronomy and History exams shouldbe handed back so for all that wished me well, I thank you, and will let you know how things turned out.

I also made the decision to cut off my cell phone. It just cost me too much money every month...money I can use to pay for everything I need for school. Last thing I need is for my classes to be dropped because of a $200 balance on my account.

Boa noite amigos...


October 9th, 2005

(no subject) @ 11:38 pm

Holy F! Orange juice, Tuna & Mayo, and hot apple cider just do nto go! These are the times I wish I hated food!

September 12th, 2005

WTF?! @ 01:58 am

After such an impressive display of sportmanship last week in their game against OU, this weeks embarassing display of complete incompetence is a damn SHAME! TCU better wake the fuck up if they plan on making anything of themselves this season. Hopefully they will get their shit together for the next game v. U. of Utah.

oh yeah, Notre Dame deserves madd props for their victory this weekend. GREAT game.

September 3rd, 2005

TCU football has started! @ 04:15 pm

mhmmm That's right bitches...TCU just handed OU's ass on a silver platter! 17-10. what an awesome game. The boys are going to go strong this season and what a way to start! WOOT! Hey Jon, wanna go to the TCU v. SMU game later this semester.?

June 29th, 2005

I knew this one. lol @ 12:42 pm

You scored as Cyclops. Cyclops is the team leader of the X-Men, and a skilled one at that. He loves Jean Grey very much. He's a strict and sometimes uptight leader, but he believes in his cause and he knows what he's fighting for... Peace between Mutants and Humans. Powers: Optic blasts








Jean Grey










Emma Frost






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June 22nd, 2005

TCU and all the rest @ 01:19 pm

Current Music: Shakira - La Mentira

On Monday I finally got all my shit together to do an advising session with the school of communications at TCU, where I declared my major and minor. I have been hating this moment because I felt like the past at St Johns was going to follow me around forever. Well, IT DIDNT! I get to start fresh at TCU without having to worry about the callamity that was the St John's GPA. Fabulous really. I was flustered that I did not get my financial aid notice until this late when I sent in my transfer papers early. I was, however, jumping abou twhen I read the financial award I got. 25 THOUSAND dollars a year!!!! Holy F! Talk about the payment for all the stressing out I have done in the last 2 years of me going back to school. Only 2500 of it is a loan in my name, but that is no big deal. I am glad I busted my ass in school now.
I wanted to take 16 hours, but because of a lab I need to take I could only take 13. Oh well, next semester.

Besides that glee, I have been pretty mellow. I go to work 3 days a week, do easy work, and make the same I was making at SNC. Lay about the other days and do nothing....I have needed to do nothing for a while and just relax. I feel like a little house wife at times though...I will need to work on that feeling.
Things with Jeff are actually going well, but if we have been seeing each other since January, it should, right? It was just a matter of time before we made things completely official, if that's what you call it. At the time, I was kinda interested in meeting this other guy, but nothing ever panned out so, I guess he just wasnt that interested. Which is fine, C'est la vie. I really can not complain, just leaves one wonderin, ya know. Who knows, we may become friends.

June 10th, 2005

An Update @ 11:01 am

Current Music: Tori Amos - She's Your Cocaine

So, here I sit, the last day of work at State National. I look back on everything that has occurred in the last 2 years since I have been working here and I can honestly say I will not miss this place at all. There are a few people I will miss, however. It is those people which make my departure saddening for me, believe it or not. Through out the years, the people who have caused me stress have nothing but pity from me. I observe their daily actions and what seems to fuel them, and realize they live off the pettiness they consume themselves in. In the last month, however, things have slowly started changing for them. People are finally fed up with their crap, as am I. I will do nothing of this though, because I do not want my bridges burned in the event that I should have the need to return to this place. I shall have the pot luck being thrown for me and go on my way, keeping in contact with those people who I know are not shallow.

Things in other areas have changed dramatically as well. One, my hair. Holy F! I do not know if that is going to stay or not. I have always been preppy and all that jazz, but this is funky as hell. It kinda doesn’t go with all the clothes I do have. Hahahahaha. I also moved out of the loft. I nearly cried once I left the building; it was truly amazing. I need to get back to a place like that, unless I get one of the cute historic houses around TCU or College St. in Fort Worth. I do not foresee myself in Dallas, well unless it is Highland Park or University Park and it is in one of the Mediterranean Villa reproductions.
In an attempt to put all my clothes away, I have discovered one thing: I HAVE TOO MANY CLOTHES! Most of these items I do not even wear anymore. I need to take a bunch of them to the Salvation Army or Catholic Charities.

--oooh if this damn girl next to me does not quit screeching (singing) I am going to go Simon Cowell on her!!!

On another, more disturbing, note…..I gained 12 lbs. It is not a bad thing cause it went to my thighs and ass. WOOT on that. My jeans fit a little tighter, which I am going to have to get used to, but I think I will be ok with it. I’ll just have to sell my leather pants if this trend continues cause I can barely squeeze into those now.

I want to throw a party soon. Hmmmm perhaps a barbeque. I wonder if the Dallas people, not to point ANYONE out, would show up? Hmm…..

That’s all for now….later kids

June 9th, 2005

Hair @ 03:06 pm

Current Music: Hoy Que Ya No Estas Aqui - Il Divo

I just got my hair cut yesterday. It's rather retro. short ont he back and very long in the front and straight. They say I look like someone from a British punk bank, someone from Trainspotting, Velvet Goldmine, the Clash, and Duran Duran. I dont know how much I like it. hmph. I like it cause it is different and punky, but wow on the shock factor.

June 1st, 2005

HA! Back to the work-force I go! @ 03:52 pm

Congratulations! You are Lynette Scavo, the
ex-career woman who traded the boardroom for
boredom, mixed with moments of sheer panic as
the mother of four unmanageable kids.

Which Desperate Housewife are you?
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From the Sea of Waking Dreams I Follow without Pride